My Social Experiment on Presidental Candidates

So I have been running a social experiment lately on facebook. Mostly for my entertainment.

Step one: Seed the news feed with an inaccurate post about a particular parties candidate. Check.

Step two: Wait for someone to engage in a conversation about said post then remove said post. Check.

Step three: Now that subject has identified their self. Present accurate posts about their chosen candidate and engage in a simulated debate. Check.

Step four: Collect data. Check.

At first I had concluded that it was conformity that the subject was reacting the way they did. With the subject even going so far as repeating propaganda they had heard about the other parties candidate. Yes it was birther propaganda. Conformity itself is something of a mixed blessing. In many situations we need conformity. In fact, many aspects of our social lives would be much harder if we didn't conform to a certain extent - whether it's to legal rules or just to queuing in the post office. Many people conform to avoid disapproval from the group even though they know the group is wrong.

But as the experiment carried on it became clear that the subject was going beyond the rules of conformity.

This led me to believe it was social identity. Social identity theory states that our identities are formed through the groups to which we belong. As a result we are motivated to improve the image and status of our own group in comparison with others. Normally it is a good idea to favor your own group, it is also advantageous to yourself. You protect yourself by protecting others like you. Was it "the us against them" mentality I was witnessing?

I think not.

Final conclusions. Every four years people with the subjects mentality become infatuated (Be inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for.) with a certain candidate. They place a lot of interest in this person. They develop in their minds a personal relationship with this candidate. They fall in love with them. They become protective of them and when attacked they rush to their aid defending them when the candidate can't defend their selves. They over look their candidate's flaws, lies, and even make excuses for them. When presented with factual claims not in their favor they tend to be in denial and won't even confirm out loud the candidate has lied to them. If the candidate fails to become elected then their choices are clear, they judge the winning candidate as evil and stupid. This is because the winning candidate robbed them of having their chosen candidate in a position of power just like a spouse who was passed up for promotion. Then the passion for their candidate begins to wane. There is no more fanfare, but their dislike and distrust for the winner remains (Yes sore loser syndrome).

However if the candidate win then the relationship with them grows. The subject had after all invested time, love, and sometimes money and they want to see that love grow.

It is however the early stages of this relationship that people have to be aware of. When people like the subject become so engrossed and obsessed with a candidate early on, then they are setting their selves up for failure in their make believe relationship. The candidate will take advantage of them, use them, abuse them, and leave them wanting more.

Notes: This experiment did not take into account why people initially fall in love with a candidate. Whether or not they transpose on their new candidate the hopes of uprooting his and now their rival. Whether or not they rebound on this new candidate after their old one had lost.

Nor did this experiment take into account the critical thinking aspect that many people use when selecting their candidate.

The Death Screams of MySpace!

Delete!Delete!Delete! This is what is happening on Myspace right now as I write this blog. Bloggers from every category are deleting their accounts, seeking out new territory to post their thoughts, arguments, stories, and events in their lives.

The glitch/bug that set, the once great social networking site ablaze in its death pyre, prevents bloggers from interacting with their readers. Has evolved into readers being unable to comment on anyone's blogs. What good is your thoughts, arguments, stories, and events that transpire in your life that you want to share, if there is no one to there to argue, validate, or engage in what you have to offer.

The one key element that Myspace had over Facebook was the blogs, this was the last remaining thing MySpace had going for it. With it gone on the whim of some programmer, or marketing executive who decided we need to do away with blogs because FaceBook doesn't have blogs and we want to be more like Facebook; has signed their own death order.

Even if they were to fix the problem tomorrow and put everything back the way it was, it would be too little too late. The Bloggers have left the building. Maybe a new generation of bloggers will take the stage, but those of us that have been battle hardened by our defeats, our victories, our partnerships with other bloggers, and the countless hours we have put into building our fan base, are no longer MySpace Bloggers. We are trying to keep our friendships intake as we set out to explore the great big world of blogging beyond the confines of MySpace.

My 1.0 profile on MySpace will remain active until the idiots in charge wipe their servers in favor of 2.0 and now the 3.0 profiles. Do away with the old and bring in the new that is if they survive with their members Delete!Delete!Deleting their profiles left and right.

The Raging Religious Douche Bag

Don't step on his dogma, don't make incidental eye contact and don't talk about his God. But what ever you do, don’t mention certain facts about the Bible or how there is no evidence for a historical Jesus, or even how Gays have the right to marry. It doesn't take a whole lot to set this guy off, and after he's pissed, screaming, swinging and insulting you, you might wish you'd actually done something worthy of such a shit-fit, because the novelty wears off very quickly.


He's easy to pick out in a crowd, he'll be one man yelling, screaming and trying to make everyone’s life a living Hell! While everyone in the crowd exchanges confused glances along with sympathetic shrugging shoulders, wondering who pissed in this guys corn flakes. This douche bag makes sure that he can't or won’t be ignored.


What is it that makes this person a raging religious douche bag? Why is he so angry? Why is this guy throwing a tantrum like a titty baby? I will try to explain, the rage, the entitlement, the frustration and the hatred, which encompasses this disorder known as the Raging Religious Douche Bag.


Do you know one, maybe two, if you have spent anytime on the R&P forums of MySpace, you could easily name off 10 or 15 without thinking too long or hard. Westboro Baptist Church comes to mind right off hand. Then you have your long list of regular MySpace Religious Douche Bags These people that profess their allegiances to God and Jesus, but are so filled with piss and vinegar, they in fact do more harm to the Christian religion than any atheist ever will.


Think about it for one minute, there are people forever turned off from Christianity because these guys can't get a message across without sounding and acting like total bastards.


Lets face it. The biggest turn off to Christianity is the Raging Religious Douche Bag. Most Atheists, Jews, Buddhist and even Pagans would agree with a lot of the peaceful practices and teachings of tolerance by Jesus. But these guys always emphasize the differences. They want to feel persecuted and will project their persecution to others to reach this end. Shouldn't the holy spirit be found in their hearts and not from the hateful words of some psychotic homophobic online preacher with a stick in his ass?


Personally, from my interpretation of the bible, even a neurotic non-believer like me has a better shot at Heaven than someone who embraces hate in God's name.


I have found that these people who claim to be Christians often are most critical of those who most resemble themselves or at least reflect their own sinful tendencies. They embrace Christianity with anger and hate, they say they “hate” others, but most often it comes out as ‘Hate the sin, not the sinner,’ but if the Holy Spirit of God truly lived within them, they would be incapable of hating others and would readily forgive others of their so called sins. The revelation that they are so angry at someone else is often an indication of either false or extremely immature faith. So, what they are so threatened by is actually what they are struggling with themselves, their own failed morals, their own insecurities in their faith, their fears and short comings.


Anger


Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense wrath and rage. Like all other emotions, it's accompanied by physiological and biological changes. In anger, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, and so do the levels of your energy hormones and adrenaline. Anger is either caused by external and internal events, so you can be angry at a specific person, an event, or your anger could be caused by worrying or frustration due to not finding a solution and even feeling threatened by other human beings, either psychologically or physically.



It is a natural, although adaptive response to threats. It inspires powerful, aggressive feelings and behaviors, which allow you to fight and defend yourself when under attack. It can be a difficult emotion to express and manage, particularly because we have been taught to express all of our other emotions other than angry. Therefore, it is not uncommon to feel guilty or ashamed about being angry despite it being a very normal and necessary emotion. We are even taught to avoid angry people, so anger has become the anti-social emotion, instead of dealing with anger in a constructive manner we shun it, we avoid it, or we let it consume us.


People who are easily angered generally have a very low tolerance for frustration, aggravations and hassles of daily living and seem to overreact to the many problems of daily living. They feel that they should not be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and are particularly exasperated if the situation in some way seems unreasonable to them; for example, such people might become extremely annoyed on being corrected for a minor mistake.


Some angry people are very manipulative. They think and behave as if they can and will change the behavior of others as a result of their rage or tantrums. These people have no real sense of control. They give off the illusion of being in control. But a person with a rage/anger problem can’t be motivational or inspirational to others as anger acts like a block. Such people are believed to suffer from low self-esteem. Actually, insecurity is the bottom line. They are very much aware of the fact that they are mediocre in many aspects of their lives and try to feign control. They try to hide the truth from themselves and feel that they can camouflage their insecurities with tantrums, flare-ups, mood swings, and threats of violence.


Authoritative nature is dominate in people, who get angry easily, they will often times have a sense of entitlement. They want to be the authority on any matter they bring up and do not expect you to counter anything they have to say, but when you do it irritates them to no end. Sometimes they feel they deserve to be catered to, and expect it, but by not doing so, angers them.



Stress does aggravates anger, so, people who have frustrations or problems in their lives will make them react more strongly than the others. The pain and discomfort in their life makes them do so. So our personal situation plays a major role in our reactions to various circumstances in life. The reason we get angry is because it's a way of us trying to avoid the emotional pain that we experience. But primarily we get angry to communicate our thoughts, our feelings and frustrations to those around us.


Some people may suffer from Intermittent Explosive Disorder: There are people who react to situations with a sudden outburst without thinking about repercussions. A 2006 study by the National Institute of Mental Health has determined the condition to be more prevalent than previously thought, affecting around 2 out of every 25 adult Americans, most commonly seen in male youths.


Many people diagnosed with IED appear to have general problems with anger or other impulsive behaviors. They may experience racing thoughts or a heightened energy level during the aggressive episode, with fatigue and depression developing shortly afterward.


The Intermittent Explosive Disorder


Intermittent explosive disorder is characterized by repeated episodes of aggressive, violent behavior in which one react grossly out of proportion to the situation. People with intermittent explosive disorder may attack others physically or verbally and their possessions, causing bodily injury and property damage.


Most people with this disorder grew up in families where explosive behavior, verbal and physical abuse were common. Being exposed to this type of violence at an early age makes it more likely for these children to exhibit these same traits as they mature.


People with other mental health problems — such as mood disorders, anxiety disorders and eating disorders — may be more likely to also have intermittent explosive disorder.


People with traits that are common to personality disorders — such as dramatic, antisocial, paranoid or narcissistic behavior patterns — may be especially prone to intermittent explosive disorder. As children, they may have exhibited severe temper tantrums and other behavioral problems, such as stealing, fire setting and even bed wetting.


To be diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder you must meet criteria spelled out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DMS), published by the American Psychiatric Association.


Criteria for intermittent explosive disorder to be diagnosed include:


* Multiple incidents in which the person failed to resist aggressive impulses that resulted in deliberate destruction of property or assault, physical and/or verbal, of another person.

* The degree of aggressiveness expressed during the incidents is completely out of proportion with the precipitating event.

* The aggressive episodes aren't accounted for by another mental disorder and are not due to the effects of a drug or a general medical condition.


Other conditions that must be ruled out before making a diagnosis of intermittent explosive disorder include delirium, dementia, oppositional defiant disorder, antisocial personality disorder, schizophrenia, panic attacks, substance withdrawal or intoxication.


People with intermittent explosive disorder may have an imbalance in the amount of serotonin and testosterone in their brains. They may also show some minor irregularities in neurological signs and electroencephalograms (EEGs).


Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) is now classified in DSM-IV among the "Impulse Control Disorders Not Elsewhere Classified". This has remained essentially unchanged since DSM-III, which was published in 1980. Prior to that--in DSM-II--the nearest thing to IED was the so-called Explosive Personality, which was regarded as a personality disorder.


In DSM-III, and ever since, it was recognized that some individuals have bouts of explosive behavior that are NOT part of their underlying character structure, and, indeed, are experienced as ego-alien or ego-dystonic.


There is no cure for intermittent explosive disorder, but gaining some control over an otherwise unmanageable condition through therapy and drug treatments is better than doing nothing at all. Anger disorders may require one or a combination of treatments:


* Drug Therapy

* Behavior Therapy

* Anger Management Program

* Psychotherapy


Recognizing there is a problem is the first step to getting help for IED or any other behavioral condition. Intermittent explosive disorder is a behavior condition defined by a particular pattern of anger that is profoundly exaggerated compared to the cause. Left untreated, IED can lead to major disciplinary problems for the adult with this disorder; the risks may include job loss, social rejection, and the potential for serious conflicts with the law. Repeated acts of aggression may cause damage to property, harm to the individual, and injury to anyone that tries to intervene during an outburst.


Morality


Researchers at Stanford University suggests that moralizing the behavior of other people has a lot to do with defending our own fragile egos. People will cast their selves as nobility superior in the morals department to avoid feeling naive and idiotic. Those eager to judge other people will do so, on two main axes: morality and competence. In defending their ego, if they can't impugn someone's ethics, they will simply label them as stupid.


So an atheists who threatens a Christian’s ego by posting a blog about the short comings of the Christian religion, has threatened the religious person psychologically. So the Christian feels they must lash out at this evil person anyway they can. Be it swearing, fowl language, and child-like insults; spelling and grammar errors will run amok, because the religious douche bag, has already lost the ability to reason in their rage.


A homosexual man wanting to marry another man is to the Christian mindset ‘Pure Blasphemy’. A blasphemy that was against his religion and the Christian had been taught that was unacceptable. They will flat out say its an amoral act, and an evil sin.


Now if a religious person can’t judge another person as evil, then they belittle them with insults, as a pretentious self-affirmation that this person is indeed incompetent. Just to keep from feeling idiotic their selves. This is just another attempt to blindly and sadly protect their own inflated egos and the motivation to devalue others.



Conclusion


As you can see, there is normal anger which arises from pain, frustration, and aggravations and is healthy when expressed. Of course, we are unlikely to experience anger in a truly healthy way, without a great deal of practice. And then there is abnormal unhealthy anger which arises from guilt, reflection, insecurity, failed morals, short comings and the mental condition known as IED.


Now add the religious aspects to this disorder. Fear, ignorance, intolerance, a pious self righteous judgmental attitude and a very fragile ego, all these aspects that are promoted by a zealot religious belief. These people who are willing to go that extra mile for their beliefs, from belittling insults to threats of violence to oppressing those they feel deserving of such rage and even murder.


These religious people feel justified in their anger, even thought their anger speaks volumes about their god’s fragile nature. They blame others for their anger. Jonah blamed God for his anger. He thought God was too gracious and forgiving to those whom he felt didn’t deserve it. So, Jonah placed himself in Judgment over the people of Nineveh. Just as these modern day religious douche bags place their judgment on anyone and everyone they feel is deserving of their wraith, is in reality their misplaced anger at God for subjecting them to frustrations, inconveniences, or annoyances. They believe God should have instantly struck down those that they have deemed unworthy, the homosexuals, the atheists, the pagans, the Jews, the godless heathens, the blacks, and anyone else they have set their eyes upon, but God has failed to see these sinners for what they are or recognize or even acknowledge them, so, now these unworthy people are victims of the Holy Wraith of God, by decree of these so called Christians.


Once these douche bags embrace that Holy Wraith, coupled with their judgmental attitude, their mental disorder and their moral superiority; you get the Raging Religious Douche Bag.



Resources:

www.MayoClinic.com

http://eqi.org/anger.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atTSwau9fwM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intermittent_explosive_disorder

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200811/morality-sucker-saint

The Angry Christian: A Theology for Care and Counseling

By Andrew D. Lester (Westminster, John Knox Press 2003, 2007)

My Time in the Nut House

My Time in the Nut House
A little humor
by Desago




I was in the nut house twice, both times I was suicidal, but the people there made me feel really welcome. Especially the second round, because you kinda knew what to expect. There was a daily dose of mind altering meds, followed by the caffeine withdraw, and to top it off, I found Jesus there... actually there was two, but in my Thorazine state of consciousness I couldn't tell the difference between the white Jesus or the black Jesus. SO, I swore off Jesus and founded a new religion out of the orange sweater I found hanging in my closet, all hail Fred the Orange Sweater.

Fred dictated a set of commandments to me in the wee hours of the night, but with writing implements a rare commodity (don't want mental patients hurting themselves with sharp pointy objects). I had to make due with the pea gravel I would sneak in from the smoke yard. I would arrange them in a certain order under my bed from the words Fred spoke to me. I was almost finished with the 99,000 words of the commandments when upon returning from the smoke yard with the final stones to complete the painstaking task, I saw the cleaning lady come out of my room with a bucket full of pebbles and no I'm not talking fruity Pebbles.

My bed was made and all the hard work was missing, I blamed my roommate who had a mysterious accident later that night; apparently he choked on a hand full of pea gravel that he had picked up in the smoke yard. Poor guy, no one even saw him as a suicide risk.

About a week later I was released I wore Fred out the door of the nut house, but he never spoke to me again, I even went so far as to threaten him with unraveling him into a ball of string for my cat to play with. But he has yet to speak. He still hangs in my closet and I wait for him to retell me the commandments because I now have paper and pen ready to scribe the scared words.

The 2012 Revelation

The 2012 Revelation

as Dictated

by

Fred the Orange Sweater

            As you may have noticed recently there is a trend of corresponding Doomsday Prophecies all coming together in the same year, 2012. This Dictation of Revelations has come to me in the wee hours of the morning, spoken to me by Fred the Orange Sweater. Yes, he finally decided to speak to me again and I didn’t need any mind altering drugs. Now before you get your panties in a bunch and get all terrified about the end of the world, let me just say there is no giant spaceship that we can all run to escape the end of the world, there aren’t going to be any aliens races coming to rescue our dumb asses and there isn’t going to be anyone left alive, so planning to survive is an utterly fruitless effort. There isn’t going to be miracles performed by some absentee deity, that can prevent 2012 from happening. So it looks like pretty much everyone is fucked.

            Now before I get into the nitty gritty of the Mayan Calendar, that everyone has heard of, its amazing that these people who couldn’t read or write English could accurately predict the end of the world right down to the very day.

            Unlike the fear mongers that are trying to make a quick buck, off scaring the shit out of you, this information comes free of charge, however if you feel this information is helpful, please leave a donation, by dropping me a personal email, its not like you are going to need money after 2012, we will all be dead, right. Might as well max out those credit cards while you can, screw the high interest payments because after 2012 the credit card companies won’t be able to file a negative report on your credit history.

First on the agenda is looking at the different prophecies and showing how they all correlate into 2012. As I go through each one try to understand how accurate these things are, there has been many real predictions come true so these prediction add to the validity of 2012.

The I-Ching:

 In the pre-800-number era of human existence, the people of ....China.... received their psychic advice from one of their oldest texts, the I-Ching. You asked the I-Ching a question and a certified coin flipper, flipped three coins in to the air, drawing a hexagram based on the results. This told your fortune, somehow.

The I-Ching had nothing to do with the end of the world until a man by the name of Terence McKenna came along and made a pattern out of every possible result. After applying this pattern to a line graph accompanied by a timeline of recorded history, he discovered that the high and low points of the graph coincided with several significant events.

On December 21, 2012, the line slowly dips off of the chart, indicating a world-ending catastrophic butt plug. The details are still sketchy but this should be enough to convince you the average person on the street that this shit is real. Why is this any different than say flipping a coin minted right here in the USA? Its not like it would come up heads or tails and then you could read some pattern off George Washington vs the Eagle.

What the I-Ching Predicted that Came True?

The Fall of the Roman Empire..

The Discovery of the New World..

World Wars I and II

         

Why This isn’t Bullshit:

Its not like McKenna utilized a pattern of his own invention to create a time-line of his own invention, and then predicted world events that had already happened. That would be unheard of.

After all, there's enough bad shit in human history that you couldn’t possibly correlate several large scale catastrophes right alongside any random pattern. But the I-Ching is real and from this overwhelming evidence you can see where we are going to be, come 2012.

            The Hopi:

The Hopi are one of America's oldest Indian tribes, found in the northeastern section of Arizona along with absolutely nothing else. They have a rich mythology filled with Spider Women, Skeleton Men and the repeated creation and destruction of the Earth. They are a bleak people.

The Hopi believe time to be cyclical and made up of a number of worlds. When a world begins it is innocent and pure, but as time goes by the world and its people become corrupted by sex, war and other things like telephones and the internet.

According to the Hopi lore, we are currently living in the fourth world. Sadly, due to the white man and his insatiable white quest for spiritless technology, we are rapidly approaching the Great Purification.

What Predictions of the Hopi Came True?

There are nine signs that lead to the Great Purification.

Dastardly deeds of  white men.

"The coming of spinning wheels filled with voices" - early American pioneers in wagons, or bass-thumping Escalades with spinning rims.

The coming of the white man's cattle - Longhorns. Or maybe it was college football?

"The land will be crossed by snakes of iron" - Railroads.

The world will be crisscrossed by a giant spider's web - telephone lines or the Internet.

The building of a large network of roads.

"...The sea turning black, and many living things dying..." - Oil spills.

"...Many youth, who wear their hair long like my people, come and join the tribal nations..." - hippies.

A "dwelling-place in the heavens... that shall fall with a great crash" - U.S. Space Station Skylab, which fell to Earth in 1979.

Why it Isn’t Bullshit

The signs of the Hopi apocalypse are text book predictions with a particular emphasis on the ill-deeds of the white man. Consequently, they could be a curse, place upon the white man by those wise and primitive Native Americans. What better way to rid the world of those pesky white man than rid the world of man. Pay no attention to the fact that these prediction were published in the late 1950’s well after we had railroads and telephones, and a dependence on oil, or even our highway system in place. These legends have been were told to the Hopi many, many moons ago by the Great Spirit. So get ready for the end of the world.

            Nostradamus:

Ah, Nostradamus. No one else in history has caused more people to shit their shorts than the man whose cryptic predictions spanned many years into the future, because he was scared the his predictions would have cost him his life, if he predicted the royal family might die, or some strange fact when he was alive, not like he didn’t see his own death or even predict that this generation would take his predictions and use them to finalize our plans for the end times.

 

In 1982, the world gained a whole new reason to shit their shorts in fear of Nostradamus when a never-before-published work of his was discovered in Rome. A repeated image in the book is that of an eight-spoked wheel, which absolutely represents the intersection of the Divine Cross (made up of the angles of our galactic center and the celestial equator) and the Terrestrial Cross (the angles that make up our equinox and solstice). The two crosses only come into alignment once every 13,000 years, and we're due for alignment in, 2012.

The book has an image that shows three solar eclipses followed by a lunar eclipse, indicating that sometime between 1992 and 2012 our world will end. Sure it’s a 20 year period but you have to remember the Nostradamus was alive possible hundreds of years ago and his predictions weren’t always set in a time frame but the following predictions did come true.

What Predictions Nostradamus made that Came True?

The Reign of Napoleon

The Rise of Hitler

The Atom Bomb

The Kennedy Assassination

Why it Isn’t Bullshit:

Just ignore the facts that, the book contains three different handwriting styles, that it is a copy of an original so damaged most of it could not be deciphered and that every predicted event occurred well before the book's "discovery" in 1982. Just think of it as being scribed by those followers of Nostradamus who wanted to have an extra copy of this unpublished book on hand in case anything happened to the original, which was a very smart idea seeing as how the original was so damaged you couldn’t even read the title page much less anything else

Its not like there are dozens of lunar and solar eclipses taking place during the 20 year period of 1992 and 2012. There was a period between 2007 and 2008 that met the three and one criteria, and people seriously questioned “Why the fuck didn't the world explode.” The answer is very simple it wasn’t 2012 yet.

            The Mayans:

Could the ancient Maya—whose empire peaked between A.D. 250 and 900 in what is now Mexico and Central America..—really predict the end of the world in 2012? I will offer up the most overwhelming evidence and show you exactly what will happen come 12/21/2012.

The Maya kept time on a scale few other cultures have considered. Back when they were an advanced civilization living in Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula about 3,000 years ago, they developed around 15 to 20 calendars, all with a slightly different purpose: the Tzolk'in was used to calculate crop cultivation, the Haab followed the cycles of the sun and the Long Count ticked off the harrowing last days of this planet. The Long Count calculates a period of time known as the Great Cycle, which is a count of about 5,125.36 years. Scholars paired up the dates of the Long Count with Gregorian calendars and found that the current Great Cycle began August 13, 3114 B.C, and ends on December 21st, 2012.

First off we will have a polar shift, that means the north pole will now become the south pole and vice versa. This will spawn Earthquakes, Volcanic Eruptions, Tsunamis, killing every living thing on the planet.

Now how exactly does the pole shift happen, well it begins with a Galactic Alignment, that sets us up like bowling pins, As Solar Storms bombard us with cosmic rays destroying our magnetic field, destroying all electronic devices and turning up the heat; you won’t be able to walk outside without your skin charring in the sunlight, but you won’t have to worry too long about stocking up on SFP 5,000. The planet's crust and mantle will suddenly shift, spinning around Earth's liquid-iron outer core like an orange's peel spinning around its fleshy fruit, which sets off the polar shift.

As we sit here and die, Planet X aka Nibiru, the 10^th planet or maybe a brown dwarf star, (and no I’m not talking about Gary Coleman here,) in our solar system that has an oblong orbit around out sun, will collide with the Earth. A direct hit and Blam! We have a new asteroid belt in our solar system that we aren’t going to be around to enjoy.

What Mayan Predictions came True.

Well they made a Calendar that tells when the sun rises and sets and it ends in 2012.

Why this Isn’t Bullshit.

During the 2012 winter solstice, time runs out on the current era of the Long Count calendar, which began at what the Maya saw as the dawn of the last creation period: August 11, 3114 B.C. The Maya wrote that date, which preceded their civilization by thousands of years, as Day Zero, or 13.0.0.0.0.

Maya astronomers built observatories and, by observing the night skies and using mathematics, learned to accurately predict eclipses and other celestial phenomena. So add in all the astro-phenomena and you have the end of the world.

Its not like the Long Count Calendar is past oriented, so that rulers and kings could lay claim to their ancestors to claim a legitimate seat of power. Or that there are any other Mayan predictions for future events. Nor did they leave any specifics as to what will happen in 2012, but being more advanced we filled in the blanks, and know full well that the world is going to end in 2012.

Lets take the a look at what a NASA scientist have to say about 2012. These people are always looking out into space and they know full well what dangers lurk just around the bend.

What the fuck does he know anyway? Its not like he has years of education and expertise to make such bold statements.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/11/091106-2012-end-of-world-myths.html

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/11/photogalleries/maya-2012-failed-apocalypses/#mount-vesuvius-eruption_11566_600x450.jpg

http://www.diagnosis2012.co.uk/1.htm

(If you can’t see the satire or sarcasm in this blog you are really too fucking stupid to live.)  

420 Geared up and Ready to go

For all of you that know what 420 is there is no explanation.  For those of you that don't know, here is a simple explaination.

What does 420 mean? There are varying theories on the origin of 420. Some say that 420 originated from a police code that announces marijuana use is taking place. Yet another story is that a group of guys (Waldo's )(ever wonder where the phase where's Waldo? came from) in the 1970's made 4:20 their official meeting time to smoke marijuana after school.

In the 21st Century, 420 is firmly established as a code amongst tokers, a time of day and even sort of a toker's New Year's Day. It's in our culture now and only time will tell where it ends up.

April 20th (4/20) is another usage, meaning that it is time for to plant before the summer.

Whatever the real story is, 420 has been an important part of the marijuana culture since the 1970's. The significance of 420 has been kept underground and is mostly known only among marijuana smokers. Many non-smokers aren't aware of the symbolism when they see someone wearing a T-shirt or baseball cap that says 420 across the front.

When the 420 icon is somehow discreetly worked into a mainstream product like a film, marijuana users take notice. The film Pulp Fiction is rumored to have had all clocks throughout the movie set to 4:20. Marijuana smokers familiar with the symbol picked up on it—most people, however, did not.

While some marijuana smokers are using 420 as a code that enables them to openly speak about marijuana in front of parents or teachers. 420 has been to some, a sacred symbol for nearly 30 years.

Simply put, 420 is a symbol of cannabis and its culture. Today, April 20th events are international, and 4:20 pm has become sort of a world wide "burn time".

Known 420 Myths

Police dispatch code for smoking pot is 420.
The number 420 is not police radio code for anything, anywhere. Checks of criminal codes suggest that the origin is neither Californian nor federal. For instance, California Penal Code 420 defines as a misdemeanor the hindrance of use of public lands.

There are approximately 420 active chemicals in marijuana.
Actually, there are approximately 315 active chemicals in marijuana. This number goes up and down depending on which plant is used.

April 20th is National Pot Smokers Day.
Well, it is now :) ; but that wasn't the origin.

April 20th is Hitler's birthday.
Yes, it is his birthday. But, as 420 started out as a time, not a date, his birthday had nothing to do with it.

The date of the Columbine school shootings.
This happened after the term was already in use.

4:20 is tea time for pot-smokers in Holland.
Tea time in Holland is at 5:30 pm, or is it 2:30 pm? Seems no one is quite sure when the wonderful people of Holland drink their tea.

So now that you know what 420 means. I have declared this as the offical opening day for Hippie hunting season.

Yes, thats right boys and girls, Hippie season has opened, all hippies that are live captured shall be placed in the Hippie Launcher (patent pending) and hopefully end up in Utah. The Mormons there need someone to preach to about the further teachings of Jesus Christ and who better to recieve those teachings than the pot heads that currently reside in Colorado. Some maybe convert and be baptised others will make their way back to Colorado, but there is always next year.

No limit on the number of hippies you can, bag. Once considered a protected species, but due to over population and a rise in intellectual damage, from too much weed being smoked. The once state wide hunting ban has been lifted and no hippie, young or old is safe.

What You Need

Weapons

guns, when hunting hippies for fun
guns with tranquilizer darts, when hunting hippies for profit
high-powered water cannons, for flushing hippies out of their dens and de-lousing them later.
BB Guns
Paint ball Guns
laser-guided missiles, for when you're just too lazy to sneak up on the hippies and blow them away one by one.
rocket launchers
beer.....not really a weapon, but it makes hippie hunting more fun
Heavy metal rock (not Stoner Metal, Black Sabbath, or Led Zeppelin)
Wallhax on
A good aimbot
A redeemer (or translocator to telefragg them)
A 9mm (come on seriously, just pop a cap in their butts)
Flame Throwers and Fire Bombs are frowned upon because the flame can release the Built up THC in their blood stream and if inhaled you may be mistaken as a hippie yourself and shot on the spot
For the added thrill live capture hippies maybe placed in the Hippie Launcher.

 Bait

marijuana
free vegetarian food
free tofu
shrooms
snacks, for when the hippies get the "munchies"
taped hippie calls, including "free pot", "free food", "free money", "free Mumia"
Drums (used for drum circles, 3 raps on the drum and you will have these hippies right were you want them, stoned in a circle)
Anything with the words 'Save the _______ (insert word here)'
A big, flashy sign pointing to a 'major music fest'. It'll attract hippes by the millions, guaranteed, since music festivals are the only opportunities for hippes to score with each other in massive stoned orgies.

 Plan of Attack

Before hippie hunting, you must first de-scent yourself. Any traces of soap, perfume/colonge, aftershave must be washed off and covered over with smelly hippie oils, grime, or dirt. Alternatively, if you don't want to stoop to their level(and happen to have a lot of money), wear a radiation-protective suit, then smear your protected body in said foul excretions. Hippies can smell a clean person from a mile away, and will flee at the presence of your fresh, out-of-the-shower lack of stench.

Once ready, find a proper place to hunt for hippies.

Light marijuana as bait. The scent will lure hippies into the area, thinking there's free weed to be had. Be careful not to inhale the fumes yourself, or you may become a hippie.

If you can find a CD with any of the songs of Woodstock, play them as the Hippies draw near. Make sure to put protective gear (earplugs) before playing the songs though, or else you may die or worse, be converted. They will all immediately freeze in place and start either singing, smoking weed, reproducing, or just sitting there humming. That's when you fire. It is highly discouraged to use anything not from that time period as bait, for it is the equivalent of infecting them with rabies.

 Rules & Regulations For Hippie Hunting

- To avoid annoying the neighbors, refrain from hunting hippies between the hours of sun-up and sundown. To hunt hippies between these times can be impolite, and considered poaching.
- Baiting hippies is allowed, but dressing up a friend like a hippie and getting him/her to lead other hippies to a kill zone is discouraged, as real people could be mistaken for hippies and get hurt or killed.
- Hippies may be flushed from their dens by the use of the following animals: dogs, police, Christians, IRS agents, etc....
- flushing hippies from their dens using tear gas, pepper spray, or other airborne chemicals is not permitted when hunting, though still quite fun. Water can be used to flush hippies from their hiding places.
- if you are using a translocator, then you will need to throw your translocator near any hippie, and translocate through them, killing them. Before using your translocator, you will need to make sure that it is in good working condition (undamaged).
- if you are using a redeemer, make sure that you are a hell of a long ways away from your target. Right click your mouse button, and you will see through a video camera attached to the front of the redeemer. Steer the redeemer to your target and blow its ass up to hell.

 Hippie Hunting For Fun

Have fun, be safe. (Use condoms)

 Profit

Hippie hair is a commodity traded on the open market, and a ton of hippie hair can be sold for as much as ten pence per ton at your average wig-makers. Whether you sedated & restrain your hippie, or just kill them, the hair must be washed and dried first. Trying to wash hippie hair after it's been shaved off leads to more hair going down the drain and clogging it up. Use a beard trimmer or a pair of scissors to remove the hippie hair, though a beard trimmer is recommended as it's quicker. Also hippie scalps are now coming into fashion. It isn't considered cruel to scalp hippies while they are still alive, as they will be stoned out of their wits and won't feel a thing.

Note: make sure to wear proper biohazard gear when shaving the dirtiest areas of the hippie; the groin and the armpits. Even a thorough washing of these areas may not scrub away all contaminants. Keep hair from these areas in separate bags, as the wig-makers will first irradiate the hair before using it, thus making it safe.

 Price Tag Per hippie

-single druggy hippie (600$)
-Drug selling/growing hippie scum (1,000$)
-Hippie community member (800$)
-Hippie community leader (5,000$)
-College Know-it-all hippie (10,000$)

Happy Hunting

Mac slap, I'm Lovin It.

Hippie Launcher, and mac slap, I'm lovin it,  Copyright and trademark KMT & RD 2008

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Celebrity Shark Attack

Celebrity Shark Attack
by
Desago

 

As most of you know, I have a very low opinion of celebrities. To me, they are ego inflated court jesters, you use their status to influence their adoring fans to buy into their particular brand of bullshit.

With the recent tabloid news of Tiger Woods' affair and Charlie Sheen's domestic abuse charges, and their product endorsements being dropped, that have plagued ever TV and radio broadcast; I feel its time for another bitch session. 

First we are going to address why people are so engrossed in the lives of celebrities and then we will address possible solutions for the future.

Connecting with Celebrities.

There are many ways in which to connect with a celebrity, I'll list a few.

Micheal Jackson
As children we become attached to those people we fell connected to, we will see another child embodied in a cartoon on Saturday morning, we will hear him singing on the radio, we tune in our TV to watch him perform on a variety show. He grows up as we grow up, and we continue to be entertained. We hear some controversy surrounding our childhood friend (though we have never talked to them, could never get closer than 10th row seating at their concerts, never got an answer to our fan mail other than an offer to join their fan club, which we did.) We still see them as that innocent child whom we felt connected to. At first we shrug it off, someone is trying to scam our beloved friend out of their hard earned money. They embody the very essence of our childhood so we back our friend and continue to eagerly await their next album or a glimpse of them on the TV or paper. No matter what we hear as the next news story breaks, it does not deter us from believing in our childhood friend, because to do so would destroy our childhood fantasy, to acknowledge any wrong doing on the part of our friend would demote him to a mere mortal and kill off that last fiber of innocence that we struggle to hold on to. We continue to support and voice our opinions of innocence of our friend. The next thing we know, our friend is dead. Drug overdose. Our world stops spinning, the sun doesn't shine as brightly as it once did. Our idol was mortal after all.

Tiger Woods
We see a cute little kid playing golf on the TV, he is 2 years old. Again the embodiment of innocence, comes into play. We play golf as well, our family has played the game for years, so we see promise in this child. Years later we see the child again, playing professionally; he wins, we celebrate. We knew he could do it. As he grows we follow his progress. We feel his victory with each tournament won, we share his agony of defeat. Here is this child we saw play golf when he was only two, we think if only we could have started out that early we could have been playing pro, doing what we love, instead of that boring dusty office we are strapped into 40 hours a week. He embodies our dream of success, we see him in magazines hocking watches and on TV, pushing razors, we see these things as his ticket to success, so we run out and purchase these goods, our game doesn't improve but we still have fun watching him win. The next thing we know there is talk of an affair, we are eager to find out if it is in fact true. All signs point to yes, as the Magic 8 Ball says. We feel betrayed, the illusion of innocence is over, our idol is nothing but a mere mortal.

Brittany Spears is another person who has been in the public eye since she was a child on the Mickey Mouse Club and pop culture videos, the embodiment of innocence. We cling onto ever facet of her life as she moved into womanhood, motherhood and finally bald headed crazy-hood. Our idol is again mortal.

Lady Diana the story book wedding to a prince, instantly connected with every girl who had fantasied about marrying into a royal family. Every girl I have ever known has envisioned herself becoming a princess by saying I do. Their childhood innocences died in a car wreak along with a mortal woman, who was once the future Queen of England.

Kurt Cameron, grew up on TV, teenage girls connected with him as the idea boyfriend, boys viewed him as a role model, millions tuned in each week to see him portray a beloved character and connected with his teenage problems, as these things mirrored their own problems. His ignorance in pushing his religious views as earned him a lot of disrespect from former fans, because he crossed the line and that childhood innocence turned to loathsome hatred.

What is it that makes you hate someone you once adored? An invisible line we draw in our minds, we tolerate certain behaviors from our friends, family and coworkers. We set up a standard that we don't cross and gage the behaviors of others by our standards, if someone doesn't cross our invisible line then we connect with them, once they cross that there is no turning back. Celebrities lose fans when they cross that line, be it extra martial affairs, drug abuse, hocking a product that a fan dislikes. Female celebrities are at the fore front of the hatred line, because to the average woman on the street who will never be as beautiful or as sexy or have a hunky stud wrapped around their finger, or have their boyfriend fantasies about so and so when making love to them. The line in the female mind is very fickle when it comes to female celebrities, they either love them or hate them.

Possible solutions
Ok we all know that when a celebrities career wanes, they start to struggle to find work, going from the A list down to the B list and even finding their selves on the XXX list. Before ending up on some reality show, as a drunken loser whose porno career was very short lived. Jail, rehab and finally death are the only options to put their name back in press, and we all know that with death, people recall the connection they once had with their childhood idols. Final releases of albums, memorabilia from the by gone era, last movies, a chance to reconnect with that childhood innocence one last time, the average person on the streets way of saying goodbye to their childhood friend.

So first off we have to put these people back into the position of entertaining us. Celebrity porn is so popular because you get to envision what it would be like to fuck your favorite celebrity. How many out there saw Show Girls with Elizabeth Berkley, or took a peek at Paris Hilton's home movie. Celebrity Issues of Playboy sell off the stands so every time a celebrity appears in a start of undress, extra issues are printed. Nude pictures of former First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, while she was sunbathing on vacation in 1971, appeared in the second issue of Hustler magazine and this made Larry Flynn a millionaire overnight. Sex sells, celebrity sex sells more.

But instead of demoting our once beloved icons to XXX status we set up a Celebrity Brothel. For a modest fee you get to enjoy the company of your once revered idol for the evening. You would have a line out the door across the street and reservation booked up almost a year in advance.

On the aspect of death, we set up a new reality TV show. Where the celebrities engage in life and death struggles. Who doesn't love a good fight for survival. We would actual route for our favorite celebrity... what? You mean this has been done already? Celebrity Death Match! Oh, but that wasn't real, I am talking real blood, real death brought to you in full 1080 HDTV. I'm talking Meet the Organ Donors, what terminal ill kid wouldn't kill to have an organ transplant from their favorite sports hero. It would be fashioned after Punk'd. The failing sports star is told a dying kid wants to met him, upon arrival the kid says thank you for your donation. The sports star is puzzled but then tazered and wakes up in a tub full of ice missing a liver or kidney, laughing "Oh boy, I guess I fell for it" Aston Kutcher could host it.

Then we have Celebrity Shark Attack. Set up like Survivor, we take a bunch of over weight out of shape celebrities to an island, have then run through a bunch of huddles to get them back into shape, then have them swim 2 miles in shark infested waters. If they survive they get a new movie contract and A list status again and a T shirt saying I survived Celebrity Shark Attack. If they die, well death does have a way of busting that failed status, it puts them back in the limelight one last time, with the highlights of their death broad-casted around the world. 

People would say "did you see the look on his face, when the shark bite off his leg?" They would mistake shock for fearlessness. Screams of agony as war cries. But mostly people would be entertained again and that is what counts.                         

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